THE PAIN PASSES BUT THE BEAUTY REMAINS

A Pastoral Message for the Celebration of Life of Scott Dixon

Commonweal Theatre, December 8, 2018

by Pastor Laura E. Gentry

Scott Dixon, actor/writer

Read Post-Bulletin article here.

Dearly beloved we have gathered together today to get through this thing called Life…okay, that’s Prince’s line but I don’t think Scott would mind me quoting 80s music.

Still…the question remains: How do we get through this thing called Life?

Today, as we pay tribute to Scott’s life, we marvel. His life was immensely full, as we’ve heard from everyone who’s spoken today. He was zealously committed to his passion for telling stories before an audience. He believed what Charlie Chaplin said: “Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.” And here on this very stage, Scott brought people his very best.

But even though we’ve worked really hard to create this celebration of his life, it cannot possibly express all of who Scott was and how is art touched people’s lives. 

Who was Scott? What was most important to him? How did he get through this thing called Life? In “Let’s Go Crazy” Prince sings: “If you don’t like the world you’re living in take a look around you at least you got friends.” And, of course, Kermit the Frog always says: “With good friends you can’t lose.” Even with all his artistic accomplishments, Scott realized that there’s something more crucial than that and it is love. That’s the art he excelled at the most: love. Scott loved his family and his friends. He loved you. 

That’s why it’s so painful now as the truth sinks in: Scott’s life here with us on earth is through. Our lives will never be the same. What are we to do? 

Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote:

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,

The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”

They say that funerals are for the living. Scott is God’s beloved and he is now with God. He has shifted to the light. That’s why he didn’t even consider his death to be a defeat. He came to the spiritually profound place of free fall, allowing himself to float into his Creator’s embrace, as we heard in the song at the beginning of this service: “knowing no effort earns that all-sustaining grace.”

And I want to remind you that there is grace for you, too. As you mourn the loss of Scott, you are not alone. The deeper your grief, the closer is God. 

In the biblical book of 2 Corinthians, God promises: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It is a paradox that our weakness actually makes us strong. But it does. It is in these broken moments that we finally realize we’re not in control of our lives. We need help. We become desperate enough to allow God to come to us and begin to heal us. It is my prayer that you will find such healing—however you name it—because there is abundant grace for you.

The great rocker Patti Smith says:  “Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand.” In a world without Scott, you will suffer. I’m sure he wishes it were not so and but grief is the price we pay for love. The road ahead won’t be easy. You will bust into tears at inconvenient times. Little things will trigger you. You will grieve and you will each grieve differently. It may cause you to hurt one another’s feelings even though you don’t mean to. So let me remind you to be particularly gentle and patient to one another. 

And yet, as you heal, you can extend your hand and help others who are also suffering loss.  You can weep with those who weep. You can be a source of comfort. You can shine light into the dark places. And in this way, Scott’s legacy will continue to broaden and be a positive one.

Ultimately, with God’s help and the compassion of your fellow humans, the vision is for you to come to a place of peace. 

The painter Renior so eloquently stated: 

“The pain passes but the beauty remains.” 

You know that the beauty of Scott’s life and his impact upon yours was beyond description. 

Right now, you feel the sting of loss but at length, the pain will subside and what remains is the beauty. Hold on to that beauty, my friends. What Scott has given each of you is yours forever. Death ends a life but not a relationship. 

The famous philosopher Winnie the Pooh said: “If there ever comes a day where we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.”

Yes, Scott will be in your heart forever. But I think he would also want me to point out that “You gotta fight for your right to party!” Tears are necessary but don’t forget that this day is a day of celebration for the amazing life Scott lived. 

LAUGHING IN HEAVEN

The following is a sermon I preached for the funeral of my great uncle, Donald Dodge in Colesburg, Iowa. Click here for his obituary.

Psalm 68:3-7

But let the righteous be joyful; let them exult before God; let them be jubilant with joy.

Sing to God, sing praises to his name; lift up a song to him who rides upon the clouds—his name is the Lord— be exultant before him.

Father of orphans and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.

God gives the desolate a home to live in; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious live in a parched land.

O God, when you went out before your people, when you marched through the wilderness,

the earth quaked, the heavens poured down rain at the presence of God, the God of Sinai, at the presence of God, the God of Israel.

John 14:15-21, 27

”If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever.This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you.

”I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you. In a little while the world will no longer see me, but you will see me; because I live, you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. They who have my commandments and keep them are those who love me; and those who love me will be loved by my Father, and I will love them and reveal myself to them.” Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

IN THE NAME OF OUR SAVIOR WHO HAS DEFEATED DEATH, DEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF DONALD DODGE.

When I was a very little girl, I remember being at a family gathering playing in the basement with my cousins. I ran upstairs for something and at the top of the steps, I was met by my great Uncle Donald who looked at me and casually said: “Okay, Laura, I paid your daddy the dime for you so you’re going home with me.” Being too young to know it was once of his many jokes, I whirled around and ran back down the stairs as fast as my little legs would take me. He laughed and laughed at me and never did let me live that one down.

That’s one of my first memories of Uncle Donald. And I smile at each and every memory of him, as I know you do too. It was great to hear stories from his great grandaughter, Lucie. Donald was so eager to offer a joke, a witicism, a laugh or just that big delightful grin of his.

In Proverbs, we read: “a cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22) All of Donald’s friends, children, grand children, and great grandchildren were given a dose of good medicine whenever they encountered him. He was ever sharing his cheerful heart and cheering us all along the way. When you were in his presence, you were lifted.

Donald was certainly a person who lived out the joy of the Lord. He really walked the walk because he knew his Savior. In the Psalm we just heard, it says: "let the righteous be joyful; let them exult before God; let them be jubilant with joy." This does speak of Donald, doesn’t it? He was ever jubilant with joy. From this joyfulness, he was so caring, serving and all-around wonderful.

But when a person of jubilant joy departs, we feel a profound loss. Not that we thought we’d have him forever—we nearly did—but somehow the end still feels too soon. We need God’s help.

And for you Karen and Cindy, this is especially hard. You’ve lost your last remaining parent. It may feel—even at your age—that you’ve been orphaned. How do you go on without your parents? Jesus’ disciples felt this way too when he announced that he would be going to be with the Father. And so he assured them that he would not leave them. That’s what we heard in the Gospel reading this morning: I will not leave you orphaned. No, he promised that he would come to them and make his home with them and give them peace, even in the midst of distress. This reading closes with one of the most beautiful passages in the bible. Jesus says: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

This beautiful peace beyond what the world can give is what our beloved Donald has now entered into. He is surrounded in glorious light, joy and peace. And Jesus promises us that same peace here as we continue our journey on earth. It is the peace of God that passes all understanding. Because we’ve been given the gift of this peace, we musn’t be afraid. Our hearts need not be troubled. We have God’s peace.

Therefore, our mourning, though deep, is only temporary. The Psalmist declares to the Lord, “You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy!” This is good news to all of us who mourn. The God we love will transform our mourning so much so that not only will we be okay, we’ll be dancing! Because we know that death is but a gateway to eternal life, because we know we will one day be reunited with Donald and all those we love who have gone before, because Jesus Christ has died for us, we can rejoice. Even now. Even as we mourn. Yes, we can and should faithfully rejoice. I know Donald would want it that way.

I’m a Lutheran minister so I have to sneak in a quote from Martin Luther and here it is. He wrote: “If you’re not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.” I know Donald agreed with that sentiment. Yes, should rejoice even in our sorrow because we know our sackcloth will eventually come off and we’ll be clothed with joy, but Donald has already been clothed with joy. Completely. He is so full of the joy of the Lord right now that he must be laughing. I can only imagine how full his belly laugh is right now. I can only imagine how happy he was to take his beloved wife, Lucille, back into his arms and laugh together with her again. I can only imagine how they’ve both been lifted up on eagle’s wings, how they shine like the sun in God’s eternal kingdom. Oh, if we just picture them in our minds’ eye for a moment, we cannot help but smile.

This is why we may have tears today but it is really a day of celebration. We celebrate the happy, loving life of Donald Dodge. We celebrate the multitude of things that he meant to us. We celebrate how he enriched and changed our lives with the cheerfulness medicine he dished out daily. We celebrate the fact that his ours and we are his and so we’ll always have him in our hearts. And most of all, we celebrate the God who created Donald, saved him and gave him joy—joy that never never ends.

Now may the peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.

FUNERAL SERMON FOR NANCY AMBLE

Sermon for Christians Gathered Together at the Death

of

Nancy Amble

June 27, 2009

1:00 p.m.

by Pastor Laura Gentry

Isaiah 43: 1-7
But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you, I give people in return for you, nations in exchange for your life. Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and from the west I will gather you; 6I will say to the north, “Give them up,” and to the south, “Do not withhold; bring my sons from far away and my daughters from the end of the earth— everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.”

1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

John 11:17-26
When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, some two miles away, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them about their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, while Mary stayed at home. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die."

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

It seems all too soon that we’ve gathered today, at the end of Nancy’s journey on earth, to celebrate her life and entrust her to God. Yet celebrate, we must, because Nancy lived a life worth celebrating.

In the reading from Isaiah, we heard those comforting words from the Lord: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” In the waters of Baptism, God first claimed Nancy and promised to walk with her through all the days to come—to be her God, to give her faith and love her unconditionally.

As Nancy grew, so did the faith God had given to her. She embraced the grace and love of her Savior and reflected it in her exuberant life.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Nancy had courage, boldness and joy as well as sensitivity and kindness. Her family and loved ones gathered here can attest to Nancy’s amazing ability to care. She was a shining light that brightened our lives more than we can describe.

Here at Our Savior’s Lutheran Church, Nancy was a true treasure. She was always ready to serve and was instrumental in many of the innovations in the way we do things around here. For example, we now have a sanctuary filled with lilies on Easter, geraniums on Pentecost and ponsettias on Christmas. Nancy started that. And we have flower stands to put them on—Nancy ordered those. And the beautiful oil candle Advent wreath we put out each year—Nancy ordered that too. You may know that she was a great shopper. When we ran a children’s choir, she propped me up as we managed the mob of kids—or at least mostly managed the mob of kids on rehearsal days. Yes, her faith was always in action.

And Nancy’s faith bouyed her up throughout her life. That passage from Isaiah goes on to say: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

Like the rest of us, Nancy had to pass through the rivers and walk through the fire at various times in her life. Yet, because of her faith, the rivers did not overwhelm her. Because of her faith the fire did not burn her, the flames could not consume her.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

Nancy’s confidence in grace was never more evident than in her battle with cancer. No matter how much she suffered, Nancy remained confident that she was walking in the love of God. She refused to be consumed by the fire of her illness. She held fast to the rock of her faith and seemed more able to talk about her own death than her

loved ones. When they’d cry too much she’d say something along the lines of: “Cut it out!”

Nancy’s faith informed her that death was not something to fear. Fear not, her Savior had said, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are mine. Just has she had not feared living, Nancy did not fear dying. She knew that death is but a gateway to eternal life. As we heard in the scripture passage from l Corinthians: “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

There is no sting for those who have faith in Jesus Christ, who has won the victory on our behalf and saves us by grace. There is no sting. When we are claimed by our Savior, nothing can take us out of that grasp. Jesus said: “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. “ Nancy knew this. She believed it in her heart. She was certain that grace would lead her home.

Yes, it is true: Nancy has left this world. She is no longer walking among us in the flesh. We can’t see her or touch her. We can’t call her up on the phone as we liked to do. But we are confident that she is not gone. Her soul is imperishable and it is now in the hand of God. We believe that we’ve not seen the last of her. No, we will be reunited with Nancy and all the saints that have gone before. In God, her love is eternal and so is ours. This makes our lives so profoundly meaningful and beautiful. We must embrace this beauty and live in it each and every moment that we are given.

This is why we may have tears today but it is really a day of celebration. We celebrate the wonderful, loving life of Nancy Lou Olsen Sherwood Amble. We celebrate the multitude of things that she meant to us. We celebrate how she enriched and changed our lives. And most of all, we celebrate the God who created her and gave her faith and guided her through all her days—helping her through the ups, the downs, the rivers and the fires—never once leaving Nancy’s side or allowing her to be consumed or burned. We celebrate the God who does not let his children go. And we look forward with great confidence to the day when God will call us to be home in heaven.

We will gather at the river that flows from the throne of God. It is difficult to believe that there is a river more beautiful than the Mississippi but apparently there is. We will one day arrive at that river and stand with Nancy and all the saints in light and praise our Maker with joyful dancing and singing that has no end.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.