September 21, 2008
By Pastor Laura Gentry
Jonah 3:10-4:11
When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.... But this was very displeasing to Jonah, and he became angry. He prayed to the LORD and said, "O LORD! Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. And now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live." And the LORD said, "Is it right for you to be angry?" Then Jonah went out of the city and sat down east of the city, and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, waiting to see what would become of the city. The LORD God appointed a bush, and made it come up over Jonah, to give shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort; so Jonah was very happy about the bush. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the bush, so that it withered. When the sun rose, God prepared a sultry east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint and asked that he might die. He said, "It is better for me to die than to live." But God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?" And he said, "Yes, angry enough to die." Then the LORD said, "You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labor and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?" (NRSV)
From time to time, I have been accused of having a flair for the dramatic. I have no idea how this could be but that’s what they say. Because of this, I can certainly relate to the Biblical character of Jonah. More than anything else, he seems to have a flair for the dramatic—in a way that would put my dramatic antics to shame.
In today’s passage, we hear how Jonah’s big mission is accomplished: the Ninevites turn from their wicked ways and repent, but that's not good news to Jonah. He spitefully says, “O Lord! Is not this what I said while I was still in my own country? That is why I fled to Tarshish at the beginning; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and ready to relent from punishing. And now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” Better to die than to live just because God wants to forgive a repentant city? Scholars tell us that Jonah's not just being dramatic in asking for death; he is saying that he believes he has participated in an act of injustice and is worthy of the death sentence. It is not fair that this horrible city should be spared from punishment. Simply not fair!
And then when Jonah’s beloved little bush dies at the teeth of a worm appointed by the Lord and he again wails out: “It is better for me to die than to live!” Hey, my house plants die all the time and you don’t see me going around shouting: “It is better for me to die than to live!” And God responds to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry about the bush?” Jonah answers, “Yes, angry enough to die.” I want to die! I want to die!
How easy it is to look at Jonah and think what a ridiculous, overly dramatic prophet he was and just laugh. How hard it is to see ourselves in Jonah—to see how we too, would rather God NOT have mercy on just any old body. We wish God’s mercy was more selective. We want to think that we who deserve it are more loved by God.
That's Jonah's mistake. He is a sinner—he has been given God's mercy. He has been saved by the grace of God, but he appears to have totally forgotten that. So when God tells him that he is called to be a prophet and he must go and tell the Ninevites to repent or be destroyed, he protests. Now Ninevah is a nasty city. There are all kinds of immoral and despicable things going on there. But Jonah knows that God is merciful—so that is his first excuse out of his mouth. Oh no, God, you are merciful and you'll probably forgive those terrible Ninevites. So I don’t want to go. I'm not going to tell them to repent because I don't want them getting any of your mercy. I want to be your favorite, not them!
And of course, that's just what God does in the end. God's mercy spreads over all those undeserving people when they repent and it gripes Jonah so much that he actually wants to die because it is so grossly unfair!
And that's the same thing that the workers in the vineyard cry in our Gospel text for today. They show up and they work hard all day long in the hot sun and then some Johnny-come-latelies show up at the very end of the day and yet the master pays them all for a full day of work anyway! Shouldn’t the ones who worked all day get paid more? Not fair!
This kind of thing happens in congregational life all the time. First of all, you have the loyal churchgoers who have been faithful to their congregation and faithful to God for years—they’ve served on council, taught Sunday School, volunteered to help with all kinds of tasks, made jello for countless potlucks and the list goes on and on. And then when newcomers enter the picture, the pastor often welcomes them right on in. Other parishioners welcome them, too. Sometimes, they even get into church leadership positions in their first year or two! And then those faithful folks who have been there forever can get bent out of shape about it. This is OUR church, they protest. How dare these new people come in and take over? How dare they enjoy the same benefits of this Christian community that we do? That's not fair!
Fairness, yes this is the big question that these two scripture lessons bring up for us. How in the world are we going to cope with a God who chooses to be more merciful than fair? There’s no getting around it because that is who God is and who God will continue to be. God is endlessly full of grace and mercy and for reasons we’ll never comprehend, God wants to bestow this grace and mercy on all humankind—not just us. Puzzling, isn’t it?
But God works out this unfairness in a pretty amazing way. Let me tell you a a story. An elderly woman once told me about growing up the oldest of four children. “My mother was always very fair,” she said. “She didn't play favorites. We always knew that we could count on her to be fair. But my father—well, that was another story. The truth is, I grew up secure in the knowledge that I was ‘Daddy's favorite.’ I was the oldest, after all, and the only girl until my sister came along when I was thirteen. I figured it wasn't hurting anybody; my father loved all his children, and probably they never even knew that I was his favorite. But I knew—and that was enough for me.”
“But then one day," she continued, “after I was grown and married and a mother myself, I fell into conversation with my brothers and sisters, and I was surprised and a little bemused to learn that each of them had also grown up with that same unspoken conviction. Each of us had always felt sure that he or she was ‘Daddy's favorite.’ How my father accomplished that, I'll never know!”
In the Lord’s prayer, we pray, “thy kingdom come.” We say we want God’s reign to come here on earth, but in our hearts, do we really want it? What if God's kingdom is not about competition? What if “fair” isn't even a word that can be used in God's kingdom, because in that kingdom each and every one of us is “God’s favorite child”? What if everybody gets the best seat in God's kingdom because we all get the place that is prepared especially for us? What if the kingdom is a place where we don't get what we deserve (which is a good thing), but rather what our loving Father wants to give us? What if God's infinite love and grace and mercy is poured out on each of us and no matter how much everybody else gets, there is still plenty for me? If that is the case, we can’t be likeJonah—protesting God’s unfairness, now can we?
This is the kind of kingdom for which we pray, “thy kingdom come,” and so like Jonah, it is up to us to help make it happen—to proclaim the wideness of God’s mercy to all people and to zealously welcome newcomers regardless of how worthy they appear to us! It is up to us to forgive others their sins, realizing we have all been forgiven by God. It’s up to us to stop worrying about whether or not we are getting our fair share and, instead, recognize each of our brothers and sisters as God's favorite child, too. We must make ourselves available to be the instruments of God's love to these other children of God. We must open our ears to God and be willing to act upon what we hear. That is what will make God’s wonderful kingdom come here on earth.
Indeed, the story of Jonah teaches us that God’s favoritism includes everyone and we are not to begrudge God of giving that grace and mercy to all people. In fact, we cannot stand in the way, no matter how much of a flair for the dramatic we may possess. And not only are we not to stand in the way, we are called to help God’s kingdom come.
Psalm 40 verse one says: “You have put a new song in my heart! Many will see it and fear and will trust in the Lord.” This day, God is singing to you. There is a new song in your heart—a song of grace and freedom, a song of love that was given to you by our Savior Jesus Christ: You are God’s favorite child...and, remarkably, so is everyone else! Therefore, we simply must proclaim this good news to everyone—and stop keeping it under wraps!
Let us pray:
Oh help us Holy God. May your kingdom of love and mercy come to our earth. Help us to kick our Jonah-like pride and recognize that we do not deserve your love more than anyone else. In humility, help us to freely share your mercy with others that you may be worshipped in all the earth. Through your son, our savior we pray. Amen.
© 2008 Laura Gentry
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
FORGIVING FOR FREEDOM
September 14, 2008
By Pastor Laura Gentry
Matthew 18:21-35
Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
During the Holocaust, Eva Mozes Kor and her twin sister, Miriam, were selected for a series of horrifying genetic experiments at the hands of the infamous Dr. Josef Mengele—who became known as the angel of death. Ironically, because of these experiments, the girls were able to survive Auschwitz even though much of their family did not. In a quest to heal her wounds, Eva returned to Auschwitz for the 50th anniversary of the liberation of the camps in 1995, and on that occasion she did the unthinkable. She read aloud her personal "official declaration of amnesty" to Mengele and the Nazis. She explained that to be liberated from the Nazis was not enough; she needed to be released from the pain of the past. To extend forgiveness without any prerequisites required of the perpetrators, said Eva, was an "act of self-healing." Through the act of "forgiving your worst enemy" Eva said that she experienced "the feeling of complete freedom from pain."
Could you offer such forgiveness? Most people have not been wronged to the extent of the victims of the Holocost, but everyone has been wronged. Everyone has opportunities for forgiveness. Lots of people end up on our “to-forgive” list: bosses, co-workers, teachers, friends, children, spouses and even people we haven’t met personally but whose decisions can harm us, like policy makers and other politicians.
But how much should we forgive? Peter thought this was an important question and so in today’s Gospel, he poses it to Jesus: Should I forgive someone more than once? What about seven times? That sounds like quite a lot. Generous enough? Nope. Jesus astonishes him by saying “No, not seven times, but I tell you seventy-seven times!”
Seventy seven times I’m supposed to forgive the same person? This is outrageous when you think about it. Simply outrageous! This seems like license for other people to sin against us. Wouldn’t we just become a doormat if we forgave at this radical rate? I mean, Jesus can’t be serious, can he?
Well, to show Peter how serious he is about this answer, he launches into an outlandish parable about an unmerciful servant. This servant received forgiveness for his gigantic debt, but he turns around and offers no mercy to a person who owes him a relatively small sum. He is so unmerciful, in fact, that he throws the man into prison.
The point is that God has forgiven us all our sins—the sins of the past as well as the sins we have yet to commit. God has forgiven each one of us such a vast amount of wrong-doing that it is incomprehensible. Therefore, we are obligated to pass the forgiveness along to others. Paul later puts it sucintly in his letter to the Christians at Ephesus to, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
This is a must for the Christian. In fact, if we do not practice forgiveness, we actually limit God’s ability to forgive us. St. John of the Cross, a 16th Century Carmelite mystic, wrote that “Attachment to a hurt arising from a past event blocks the inflow of hope into our lives.” If we keep a hold of our grudge and refuse to forgive, we actually keep God’s love out of our hearts. We block the inflow of hope into our lives.
Frederic Luskin, co-founder of Stanford University's "Forgiveness Project," says that forgiveness "reduces anger, hurt, depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of optimism, hope, compassion and self confidence." And according to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, Wisconsin, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. Indeed, scientists have proven what Jesus taught so many years ago: forgiveness is necessary for us to be healthy and happy.
Even though we know this is true, forgiveness is hard. Let’s admit it. I cannot count how many times I’ve heard people say, “But I just can’t forgive.” Even if we want to forgive, we sometimes feel powerless to actually do so. Yet there are amazing stories of forgiveness, like Eva Kor’s who forgave the Nazis who killed her family and the doctor who caused her such pain. We know it is possible to forgive. Jesus told us that God wants us to forgive. But how?
In the book Forgiveness Is a Choice, Robert D. Enright outlines a 4 stage process for forgiving. This method is the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country. Enright demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver even more than the forgiven. He explains that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.
The first phase of forgiveness, according to Enright, is uncovering your anger. Have you faced your anger? Archbishop Desmond Tutu, retired Anglican bishop of South Africa and formerly chairman of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, says “to forgive is a process that does not exclude hate and anger. These emotions are all part of being human.” Tutu continues, “You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things; the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.”
Has your anger affected your health? You can’t stay healthy if you’ve got bottled up anger. Are you obsessed with the injury or the offender? Has the injury changed your life or your worldview? Admitting your anger and letting this emotion be what it is—this is the vital first step toward forgiveness.
The second phase is deciding to forgive. Looking at Jesus’ mandate to forgive can help you make the decision to forgive. Looking at how not forgiving has not worked can also help you come to that conclusion. You must be willing to begin the healing process by making this vital decision. Remember that you don’t have to wait until you feel like forgiving. You don’t have to warm and fuzzy feelings about the offender. In fact, you can still be feeling great pangs of anger towards them. But if you make the decision to forgive, the process will continue forward.
The third phase is working on forgiveness. Work on your compassion. Work on your inner pain. Then act. Do an act of kindness toward the offender, or to honor your decision. Act as if your forgiveness has already occured and this will help bring your intention into reality.
The fourth and final phase is discovering release from your emotional prison. In the case of Eva Kor, she found immense release through forgiveness and finally began to live. Others were highly critical of her decision to forgive—stating that to forgive the Nazis would be to condone a terrible evil and to open the door to future tragedy. Yet through her faith and through her understanding of her deep need to forgive, she found the power to forgive and this gave her ultimate emotional freedom. This really takes a leap of faith. Until you forgive, you cannot know the extent of healing it will bring you. But when this release is accomplished, the process of forgiveness is completed.
Feeling your anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and then finding release—these are phases of forgiveness, which have offered a reliable path to freedom for many.
The fact is, we’ve been forgiven for more than we can even imagine. We are saved entirely by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, not by any of our own doing. And so we are obligated. We are duty-bound to pass on this forgiveness to our brothers and sisters. Just as there is no limit to God’s forgiveness of us, there should be no limit to our forgiveness of others. Amen.
© 2008 Laura Gentry
By Pastor Laura Gentry
Matthew 18:21-35
Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
During the Holocaust, Eva Mozes Kor and her twin sister, Miriam, were selected for a series of horrifying genetic experiments at the hands of the infamous Dr. Josef Mengele—who became known as the angel of death. Ironically, because of these experiments, the girls were able to survive Auschwitz even though much of their family did not. In a quest to heal her wounds, Eva returned to Auschwitz for the 50th anniversary of the liberation of the camps in 1995, and on that occasion she did the unthinkable. She read aloud her personal "official declaration of amnesty" to Mengele and the Nazis. She explained that to be liberated from the Nazis was not enough; she needed to be released from the pain of the past. To extend forgiveness without any prerequisites required of the perpetrators, said Eva, was an "act of self-healing." Through the act of "forgiving your worst enemy" Eva said that she experienced "the feeling of complete freedom from pain."
Could you offer such forgiveness? Most people have not been wronged to the extent of the victims of the Holocost, but everyone has been wronged. Everyone has opportunities for forgiveness. Lots of people end up on our “to-forgive” list: bosses, co-workers, teachers, friends, children, spouses and even people we haven’t met personally but whose decisions can harm us, like policy makers and other politicians.
But how much should we forgive? Peter thought this was an important question and so in today’s Gospel, he poses it to Jesus: Should I forgive someone more than once? What about seven times? That sounds like quite a lot. Generous enough? Nope. Jesus astonishes him by saying “No, not seven times, but I tell you seventy-seven times!”
Seventy seven times I’m supposed to forgive the same person? This is outrageous when you think about it. Simply outrageous! This seems like license for other people to sin against us. Wouldn’t we just become a doormat if we forgave at this radical rate? I mean, Jesus can’t be serious, can he?
Well, to show Peter how serious he is about this answer, he launches into an outlandish parable about an unmerciful servant. This servant received forgiveness for his gigantic debt, but he turns around and offers no mercy to a person who owes him a relatively small sum. He is so unmerciful, in fact, that he throws the man into prison.
The point is that God has forgiven us all our sins—the sins of the past as well as the sins we have yet to commit. God has forgiven each one of us such a vast amount of wrong-doing that it is incomprehensible. Therefore, we are obligated to pass the forgiveness along to others. Paul later puts it sucintly in his letter to the Christians at Ephesus to, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.”
This is a must for the Christian. In fact, if we do not practice forgiveness, we actually limit God’s ability to forgive us. St. John of the Cross, a 16th Century Carmelite mystic, wrote that “Attachment to a hurt arising from a past event blocks the inflow of hope into our lives.” If we keep a hold of our grudge and refuse to forgive, we actually keep God’s love out of our hearts. We block the inflow of hope into our lives.
Frederic Luskin, co-founder of Stanford University's "Forgiveness Project," says that forgiveness "reduces anger, hurt, depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of optimism, hope, compassion and self confidence." And according to the results of the Human Development Study Group at the University of Madison, Wisconsin, forgiveness leads to improved physical and mental health as well as better relationships. Indeed, scientists have proven what Jesus taught so many years ago: forgiveness is necessary for us to be healthy and happy.
Even though we know this is true, forgiveness is hard. Let’s admit it. I cannot count how many times I’ve heard people say, “But I just can’t forgive.” Even if we want to forgive, we sometimes feel powerless to actually do so. Yet there are amazing stories of forgiveness, like Eva Kor’s who forgave the Nazis who killed her family and the doctor who caused her such pain. We know it is possible to forgive. Jesus told us that God wants us to forgive. But how?
In the book Forgiveness Is a Choice, Robert D. Enright outlines a 4 stage process for forgiving. This method is the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country. Enright demonstrates how forgiveness, approached in the correct manner, benefits the forgiver even more than the forgiven. He explains that forgiveness does not mean accepting continued abuse or even reconciling with the offender. Rather, by giving the gift of forgiveness, readers are encouraged to confront and let go of their pain in order to regain their lives.
The first phase of forgiveness, according to Enright, is uncovering your anger. Have you faced your anger? Archbishop Desmond Tutu, retired Anglican bishop of South Africa and formerly chairman of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission, says “to forgive is a process that does not exclude hate and anger. These emotions are all part of being human.” Tutu continues, “You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things; the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.”
Has your anger affected your health? You can’t stay healthy if you’ve got bottled up anger. Are you obsessed with the injury or the offender? Has the injury changed your life or your worldview? Admitting your anger and letting this emotion be what it is—this is the vital first step toward forgiveness.
The second phase is deciding to forgive. Looking at Jesus’ mandate to forgive can help you make the decision to forgive. Looking at how not forgiving has not worked can also help you come to that conclusion. You must be willing to begin the healing process by making this vital decision. Remember that you don’t have to wait until you feel like forgiving. You don’t have to warm and fuzzy feelings about the offender. In fact, you can still be feeling great pangs of anger towards them. But if you make the decision to forgive, the process will continue forward.
The third phase is working on forgiveness. Work on your compassion. Work on your inner pain. Then act. Do an act of kindness toward the offender, or to honor your decision. Act as if your forgiveness has already occured and this will help bring your intention into reality.
The fourth and final phase is discovering release from your emotional prison. In the case of Eva Kor, she found immense release through forgiveness and finally began to live. Others were highly critical of her decision to forgive—stating that to forgive the Nazis would be to condone a terrible evil and to open the door to future tragedy. Yet through her faith and through her understanding of her deep need to forgive, she found the power to forgive and this gave her ultimate emotional freedom. This really takes a leap of faith. Until you forgive, you cannot know the extent of healing it will bring you. But when this release is accomplished, the process of forgiveness is completed.
Feeling your anger, deciding to forgive, working on forgiveness, and then finding release—these are phases of forgiveness, which have offered a reliable path to freedom for many.
The fact is, we’ve been forgiven for more than we can even imagine. We are saved entirely by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, not by any of our own doing. And so we are obligated. We are duty-bound to pass on this forgiveness to our brothers and sisters. Just as there is no limit to God’s forgiveness of us, there should be no limit to our forgiveness of others. Amen.
© 2008 Laura Gentry
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